Under valued gifts (2)

2. The Gift of Small Talk

Here is another gift that it is worth exercising at PBC - the gift of small talk.

I want to stick up for small talk and the hard time it often gets in churches and in sermons in particular. How often do we hear church lambasted for how shallow it is? Allegedly all you hear over morning tea is, “Hi ... nice weather ... go the Rabbitohs!” Apparently this is stopping us from bearing our souls and sharing our deepest struggles so that we can grow as Christians.

Well, I want to amount a defence of the beleaguered small talk. I fully agree that much of our conversation can be shallow and that Christian growth means increasing openness. However, it is a cop out to cut out the small talk. If we are to get to know one another we need more small talk, not less.

When I’m struggling in my marriage, when my Mum gets cancer, or I’m made redundant, I’m not going to suddenly unload on complete strangers. Instead if I’ve been saying “G’day” to you every Sunday for the past few years then I’m much more likely to open up when the time comes.

It is true that small talk can be used as a barrier to genuine openness but normally it is the route to it. The way we learn to share our lives with each other is just by talking to one another... about anything. Of course for this to progress past the superficial we need to meet regularly otherwise each time we speak will feel like starting again - hence the gift of presence last week.

So here are some tips on how to develop this ministry. As you will see this is not just for the upfront or extrovert. Anybody can do this:

✓ turn up early (before 9.30am) - newcomers usually do!

✓ sit somewhere different - it’s probably warmer :-)

✓ ask about what you talked about last week - people will really appreciate the interest.

✓ be the first to say ‘hello’ - then they have to think of something to say.

“Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another....” (Hebrews 10: 25)